Living with HIV, even today with the great medical advances, is still no picnic, and it's something you want to make sure you don't get. Even with the huge changes that modern medicine has brought about and the much better life they give most (but not all) HIV positive people, it still sucks big time to have the virus.
One of the main reasons for this is the way some people can blame and judge anyone who has the virus, stick a label on them and stop seeing them as ordinary people who've had some really bad luck and only see them as "someone with HIV". It hurts, and it's not fair. Having this virus in your blood and body doesn't turn you into a monster or some sort of walking bomb, but some people still act that way. People living with HIV deserve as much respect as anyone else. They are able to go out, able to have fun, able to have sex, able to fall in love, able to have kids, and able to hold a job - all the things that most people take for granted. Yet a lot of HIV positive people report that they feel judged, excluded and unwelcome.
Stigma is a very hard thing to fight, and it places a real burden on people. Having HIV is nothing to be ashamed of, but a lot of people who have it feel understandably wary about letting others know - they don't want to be labeled, they don't want to be judged, and they don't want to be rejected.
You have to wonder if there is so much negativity around it even today, because guys are scared that they could end up with the virus as well. Meeting openly HIV positive people or seeing them around makes them think of what they've been up to that time last week they "slipped up" and weren't as safe as usual - and this frightens them a bit. And maybe another part of it is that in most cultures it's pretty hard to talk about sex calmly and openly: For most it's a sensitive and often private topic, and that can also make it harder for some people when confronted with HIV positive people - but you can't really talk or think about HIV without factoring sex in - that is by far the most common way of transmitting it, and in NZ, most people infected here are still guys who like other guys and give it to each other from fucking up the arse.
And let's face it, even with all the social and legal changes here in NZ, society in general, and a lot of us as individuals still aren't that great at thinking or talking calmly and openly about man-on-man sex, even if we love it ourselves. But if you want to keep yourself safe, learning how to talk about sex honestly and calmly is a great advantage, in fact it's probably one of the most important things you can do. And that also goes for people living with HIV.
The truth is, there are more and more guys out there with HIV every year, some of who have no idea they have HIV, and even though we have a really low infection rate compared to most places, you still run the risk of getting it if you don't practice safe sex. And that means you need to be comfortable about saying what you will and won't do in bed, you need to be comfortable and clear when deciding what your limits are. Yeah, it's easy to write about, and much harder when you're all hot and turned on, but even then you can still let your sexual partner know what is ok and what is not. It's not uncommon for guys to say they feel too shy to actually state what they want and don't want to do, and it takes time to learn how to do it.
Speaking clearly and comfortably about sex is something we have to practice - they don't teach it to you at school. The more open and relaxed we can all be about it, both those of us with the virus and those without it, the better we'll be able to look after each other and stay well. And safe sex is about looking after each other, not just looking after our own sexual pleasure. By making sure we keep on practicing safe sex, we help make a safe and friendly environment for anyone who is HIV positive, and build a stronger, healthier and more inclusive community
Living with HIV, even today with the great medical advances, is still no picnic, and it's something you want to make sure you don't get. Even with the huge changes that modern medicine has brought about and the much better life they give most (but not all) HIV positive people, it still sucks big time to have the virus.
One of the main reasons for this is the way some people can blame and judge anyone who has the virus, stick a label on them and stop seeing them as ordinary people who've had some really bad luck and only see them as "someone with HIV". It hurts, and it's not fair. Having this virus in your blood and body doesn't turn you into a monster or some sort of walking bomb, but some people still act that way. People living with HIV deserve as much respect as anyone else. They are able to go out, able to have fun, able to have sex, able to fall in love, able to have kids, and able to hold a job - all the things that most people take for granted. Yet a lot of HIV positive people report that they feel judged, excluded and unwelcome.
Stigma is a very hard thing to fight, and it places a real burden on people. Having HIV is nothing to be ashamed of, but a lot of people who have it feel understandably wary about letting others know - they don't want to be labeled, they don't want to be judged, and they don't want to be rejected.
You have to wonder if there is so much negativity around it even today, because guys are scared that they could end up with the virus as well. Meeting openly HIV positive people or seeing them around makes them think of what they've been up to that time last week they "slipped up" and weren't as safe as usual - and this frightens them a bit. And maybe another part of it is that in most cultures it's pretty hard to talk about sex calmly and openly: For most it's a sensitive and often private topic, and that can also make it harder for some people when confronted with HIV positive people - but you can't really talk or think about HIV without factoring sex in - that is by far the most common way of transmitting it, and in NZ, most people infected here are still guys who like other guys and give it to each other from fucking up the arse.
And let's face it, even with all the social and legal changes here in NZ, society in general, and a lot of us as individuals still aren't that great at thinking or talking calmly and openly about man-on-man sex, even if we love it ourselves. But if you want to keep yourself safe, learning how to talk about sex honestly and calmly is a great advantage, in fact it's probably one of the most important things you can do. And that also goes for people living with HIV.
The truth is, there are more and more guys out there with HIV every year, some of who have no idea they have HIV, and even though we have a really low infection rate compared to most places, you still run the risk of getting it if you don't practice safe sex. And that means you need to be comfortable about saying what you will and won't do in bed, you need to be comfortable and clear when deciding what your limits are. Yeah, it's easy to write about, and much harder when you're all hot and turned on, but even then you can still let your sexual partner know what is ok and what is not. It's not uncommon for guys to say they feel too shy to actually state what they want and don't want to do, and it takes time to learn how to do it.
Speaking clearly and comfortably about sex is something we have to practice - they don't teach it to you at school. The more open and relaxed we can all be about it, both those of us with the virus and those without it, the better we'll be able to look after each other and stay well. And safe sex is about looking after each other, not just looking after our own sexual pleasure. By making sure we keep on practicing safe sex, we help make a safe and friendly environment for anyone who is HIV positive, and build a stronger, healthier and more inclusive community.
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