28 July 2010 (Sex and relationships)
Dear Sexpert.
I met a guy through Bro Online and we have played a few times, but he has a partner and I am single. I’ve asked him if he feels bad about cheating on his boyfriend but he seems to think it’s OK to because we do stuff that his boyfriend doesn’t like to do. Is this normal with gay relationships?
In the gay world this kind of set up is not uncommon, and every relationship has its own set of rules and boundaries. There is no one ‘normal’ relationship.
Some relationships remain monogamous for years, while others allow for occasional no-strings attached fun. Some relationships also allow for one or both parties to have another regular sexual partner (or fuckbuddy).
If you are going to continue to see this guy, it might be a good idea to have a conversation about what both your expectations are and what your buddy is doing with his relationship. He may be allowed to play. Then again, he may not, which might not sit comfortably with you.
Honesty is an important part of any ongoing relationship and that includes being honest with yourself. Are you happy just to ‘play’ or are you after something more? And is this kind of sexual behaviour consistent with your own values? Are you happy to be the ‘other guy’? At the end of the day, the two most important things are 1. That you are honest with yourself, and 2. That you are safe and use condoms, especially since there are multiple partners involved.
unknown, 30 July 2010
3.Also as long as you don’t feel more for this person, nothing can possibly go wrong.
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