9 March 2011 (Sex and relationships, Health and fitness)
Does bareback porn make us less likely to practice safe-sex? Does it make us fuck less safely? Or can we tell the difference between fantasy and reality?
Strong models of what gay male sex is supposed to be like - but it's pretty hard for most of us to fuck like a porn-star. And a lot of gay porn stars are well known public figures in gay life. A lot of guys spend hours in gyms trying to look like them.
So does it really matter all that much that there is more and more porn showing unsafe sex (and let's be clear - barebacking is just a nice word for unsafe sex) ?
Maybe not so much here in New Zealand, but it's causing more comment in the USA, as this article written by a San Francisco based activist points out.
What do you make of a porno called "1000 Load Fuck" boasting of a young guy taking the cum of 1000 different men up his arse? Some of it delivered with a turkey-baster?
Now this is obviously not an everyday experience, it's not going to happen to you here in New Zealand, so does watching it, and other similar porn, start to eat away at our own safe-sex when we're fucking?
We all have a fantasy life, and there's nothing wrong with that. In your head you can be wild or mild; you can be as kinky and filthy or as vanilla and tender as you want. There's nothing wrong with having fantasies that don't involve condoms.
It's when we start to mistake the stuff we see in porn as real, when we start to think that we have to try and fuck like a porn star, that this is the way it's done, that we open ourselves up to trouble. More and more young guys have their first exposure to gay sex through porn online. It gives them a model of what to do, how to behave.
But porn is incredibly unrealistic. And of course, it's cut and framed in ways to make it as exciting as possible - they don't show any ordinary sex.
Part of the problem lies with the idea that some guys have that getting HIV today is no big deal. It is.
Getting HIV changes your life and limit your choices. No, it's not as bad as it was in the 80s, but it still sucks - you really don't want it.
So watch porn, enjoy it, get off on it, but remember, it's porn - it's a fantasy. And if you try and turn that fantasy into reality you might live to regret it very very much.
Condoms work - use them properly and you can fuck like a porn star.
Hotfjnz, 12 March 2011
Agree totally, have met some guys who expect to fuck like they’ve seen in porn. Actually I prefer to have ordinary sex, it is much more related to your partner. Porn sex seem to be so mechanical and for the camera rather than the partner. My total focus is on my partner.
Hotfjnz, 12 March 2011
Agree totally, have met some guys who expect to fuck like they’ve seen in porn. Actually I prefer to have ordinary sex, it is much more related to your partner. Porn sex seem to be so mechanical and for the camera rather than the partner. My total focus is on my partner.
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